The Intelligent Changing Voice

A violinist opens her case one day, noticing it feels a bit awkward. The latches are a bit further apart, the lid a bit heavier. Then she picks it up and she feels like her arms have shortened. She starts to play and her tuning is off, even though she places her fingers where she normally does. In fact, not by any choice of her own, she is now a violist. It feels like a bad dream until she stops trying to make it sound like a violin and starts to embrace this new instrument and accepts her future as a violist, as something she can celebrate and learn to maneuver differently than the violin.

Like learning a new string instrument, our voices are always changing. A 13 year old boy’s voice starts to crack. A post pregnancy female discovers more richness. A 40 year old might notice pitch issues while learning how to use a bigger instrument. Many of us singers in the second half of life can relate to the violin story. Women reach a point in peri-menopause or menopause, when we feel our voices are not the voices we have enjoyed freely for the last several years. Men, might start to notice issues with stamina and loss of low notes. But try as we might, our old way of doing things is not working. Our thyroid and cricoid cartilages are completely ossified and less able to move with agility, the elasticity of our lung tissue has decreased, there is less mobility in the joints of our ribs and chronic dryness often seems insurmountable. 

All this leads to …negative thinking. Our brains are really good at it, it turns out! Neuroscientists coined the term “negativity bias.” As Neuroscientist Dr. Rick Hanson points out, “Your brain is like velcro for negative experiences and teflon for positive ones.”  As most performers know, it just takes one bad performance for us to fear the next one. Performance anxiety kicks in, our throats tighten, we begin to perspire and shake.

For singers who are going through vocal changes, every day can seem like that “bad performance” day. That high or low note that was there before is now tight and thin. It’s important to note, that the vocal folds’  primal function is to save our life, keep us from choking. When our fear kicks in, “will it be tight, will I hit that note, will I have the stamina…?,” our negativity bias causes a misplaced fight or flight response, where the stimulus of performance anxiety skips our prefrontal cortex and goes straight for the amygdala. Our throats tighten. Our swallowing muscles start to help out.

While there are a number of interventions that address the physical changes of the evolving voice, it is important to address our response to those changes and notice how much of the unwanted tones and tightness are related to our thoughts. In comes The Alexander Technique which is a re-education of the way we function by changing our thinking and causing a reduction in tension and stress. Practicing (something musicians are good at already!) noticing and pausing is where the work happens.

1. Stimulus-intention to sing

2. Pause-truly-just pause

3. Notice-“hmm I am tightening my legs, shoulder, neck”

4. Ask-“Where might I be a little bit easier?” Repeat. Repeat.Repeat

5. Sing

6. Pause

7. Notice

8. Ask

9. Repeat

By practicing “the pause” and “the notice”, we actually rewire our brain’s response to the fear or “negativity bias” around the changes in our voices. The fight or flight response is diminished and the muscles that are not needed for singing release as do our voices. 

What do you notice?

The Truth About Belly Breathing

The Truth About Belly Breathing

I’ve attended many workshops in my life addressing relaxation and ease. In a yoga class, I was asked to feel my body contact the floor and breath from my belly. At a spiritual retreat I was instructed to reflect on a particular message and let the breath fall into my belly. Well meaning mental health professionals often direct patients to breathe into their bellies. Well meaning choral directors ask their singers to breathe from the diaphragm and expand the belly. As I ask new students to tell me what their understanding of breathing is, I often hear things like, “I’m supposed to breath into here.” (pointing to the region well below their rib cage.) 

Try as I might these directions often lead me to feel panicky and almost hyperventilate! I find students trying so hard to work against their design that singing becomes a chore.  As Alexander Technique teacher Jessica Wolf writes, “Our breath is indispensable and ever present. It happens automatically, and most people never think about it.” When was the last time you found yourself thinking about how to breath when going about your daily routine? 

Once we understand the basic anatomy of the breathing apparatus, we see that “belly breathing” contradicts the natural design of our bodies. Very simply, the diaphragm is a very large tendinous muscle resembling something like a manta ray. It connects to the lumbar spine at L1 and L2 and the xyphoid process (the bottom of the sternum) and the costal arch. (The cartilage along the lower false ribs.) As the diaphragm descends, air enters our lungs, and the ribs float up and out. The diaphragm separates the organs including the heart and lungs above, from the organs below including the liver, intestines and stomach. Wait! Well then how does the air get to my belly!? It doesn’t! (Well ok, all our blood vessels are oxygenated through our circulatory system, but the air does not go directly into the belly!) Alexander Technique teacher Jessica Wolf calls it “a visceral massage.” Isn’t that a lovely mage?

Jessica also points out that breathing is an activity of the back. In fact, 70% of our lung tissue is in the back. (stay tuned for more on this!) Our diaphragms drape like a cloak in the back.

“So why does my belly actually move when I breathe naturally?”, you may ask. All those organs below the diaphragm have to go somewhere! The expansion of the belly is a result of the diaphragm dropping and spreading, not a catalyst for breathing. Try pushing your belly out while the air enters your lungs. What do you notice? Now stop doing that and let the air enter. What do you notice? As F. M. Alexander said, “You are doing what you call ‘leaving yourself alone.’”

Sweetest Fear

Several years ago I found myself busier than I ever remember being! My daughter had chosen an expensive university to attend, so I did everything I could to lighten the load of the loans. I worked full time as a substitute teacher in special education and music. I had a full load of private voice students with a waiting list to boot. I had a church job as a staff singer and I was the vocal coach and soloist for The Seattle Choral Company. I was an active recitalist. In addition, my younger son, who needed significant support, was still at home. Needless to say, if something came up last minute, I cringed at my inability to be flexible with my schedule. 

The Seattle Choral Company is the Carmina Burana chorus in The Northwest. When I arrived in Seattle in 2000, they had an annual history of performing it with The Pacific Northwest Ballet or as a concert. Even though I was hired as the regular soloist, they always hired another lovely soprano for Carmina who had sung with them for years before my arrival. She executed the high D of Dulcissime (sweetest) and the approach to it, with utter ease and agility. So every year that we performed it, I was able to sit back and enjoy my part as a choral singer and coach. I rarely visited my own high D and it wasn’t a D for public consumption! 

Meanwhile, I took part in several workshops on body mapping, a term coined by Alexander Technique teachers William and Barbara Conable. Body mapping is a process by which the student applies their understanding of their anatomy in a constructive way to enable freer movement. Our instructor, Cynthia McGladery, a singer and voice teacher herself, gave a perception changing demonstration. She sang and held a single note, then pointed to areas of her body, mostly her legs, that she would tighten, then release. The sound was so drastically different when she released, that I was certain she was manipulating the sound to prove a point…until I tried it. I had never even noticed that clenching my legs was such a strong habit! I was so excited that I started taking Alexander Technique lessons myself.

Fast forward a few months. It was The Seattle Choral Company’s 25th anniversary concert at Benaroya Hall with full orchestra. It was to be a review of The SCC’s best works over the years, so of course it had to include a cut from Carmina. One week before the performance, the conductor came to me and said, “Of course you will do the Dulcissime right?” Always the people pleaser, I gulped and felt the bottom drop out of my breath as I smiled and nodded, “Yes.”  I wasn’t sure I could do it! I went home and stretched my vocal folds by sliding up and down my register, lightly singing staccato arpeggios while inviting in more falsetto to access my whistle register. By day five, I was able to nail the high D every time, but I was terrified!! Every time I would think of singing it in public, I clenched. Then I remembered-let go of my legs. It was like magic! The high D just lilted into its happy place and all was well. 

Then came the performance. The finale of the concert was Dulcissme leading into the famous choruses Ave Formosissima and the reprise of O Fortuna. I had the best gown ever and was feeling lovely and ready! However, I had to sing the rest of the preceding program with the chorus. I was using my “choral voice” for 90 minutes and my legs were tired. My heart started pounding fast as the conductor gestured for me to come downstage. But halfway there, I stopped behind the second violins as an official came to the stage with a surprise presentation to our conductor, celebrating 25 years of music making in Seattle. The official talked. The conductor talked. Hands were shaken and roaring applause followed. I was ready to go, then had to wait in silence at the edge of the stage behind my mask of looking poised and delighted, while feeling terror inside. I had the panic that many singers have after sitting on stage a long time, “Am I still warmed up?”   I had lost the pitch that I was saving in my head from the last chorus. How was I going to get it? Then I walked to the front and took my position. I don’t remember how I got the pitch. I scanned the audience, looked  to the top balcony and it hit me! Let go of your legs!! As I did, my voice soared. it was as if my body was singing me. I felt a freedom and an excitement that I didn’t expect and “Dulcissime” was indeed sweet!

Little did I know, this was my first “Yes plan” as AT teacher Cathy Madden calls it. (Look for a future blog post on creating your own yes plan.) I could say, “Yes, do this!” instead of “No don’t tighten!” 

What can you say yes to?

Raspberries!

When I was 5 years old, we lived in a house in the woods just above our family cherry orchards. My buddy, Henry, lived in the closest house down the road. On the field between his house and our road, were yards of tangled, prickly blackberry and raspberry bushes. We couldn’t wait until the green hard beads became supple, juicy and sweet. At the time, my dentist had put me on a low carb diet. (something about too much lactobacillus in my saliva) This meant no sugar, milk, bread and of course, berries. My older siblings would taunt me with the new cookies Mom bought. One day as Henry and I were playing in the field, he excitedly brought me over to the berry patch to taste the first ripe berries of the season. Oh they were so good!! I ate them like a starving child. As the sun started to lower on the horizon, I ran back up the hill for dinner, my face stained from bangs to chin and ear to ear with the verboten berry juice. My mother looked at me and said, “Lisa, have you been eating berries?” (How she kept a straight face, I’ll never know!)  I felt my breathing become fast and shallow, my belly tightened and my voice squeaked out, “Oh no Mom, I didn’t eat any berries.”  To this day I have a visceral memory of that lie.

By the time I was about 12 years old, I was singing and playing piano all the time. We had moved several times, but always came back to our house in the summer. The former foreman on our farm, Stacey, asked me to go out to his garden and pick raspberries for dessert. I dutifully brought them in, placed them in a strainer and began to rinse them. I shrieked as a little black worm started crawling out of its little comfy pocket. My breath became fast and shallow, my belly tightened and my voice squeaked out, “Eek!!” I couldn’t bring myself to eat any berries that day, for fear there were more worms hiding. In fact, I avoided raspberries well into adulthood! 

Little did I know, I had half of an Alexander Technique lesson in those experiences!  I noticed. I became aware of the tightness in my belly, the shallowness of my breathing and the squeezing in my throat. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the tools to move through these reactions. 

In middle school, I auditioned for the talent show, accompanying myself on piano. I was excited to show what I could do and sang with abandon. I got in, but was asked only to play the piano and not to sing for the show. I found out later that the teacher had told my mother that the text of the song was too sophisticated for a 12 year old. (She was probably right) But I thought it was because they didn’t like my voice. So the next year I auditioned with a new song and started to notice, my breath was fast and shallow, my belly tightened and my voice didn’t squeak, but was tight and uncomfortable. 

All of these experiences were carving a map in my system. The symptoms became a habit-a habit that continued throughout my professional career. The only way I could get through the performance  anxiety was to just soldier on and call upon all the vocal technique strategies that I had been taught. When I received praise, my body would calm down, but it was only temporary.  

Do I still get performance anxiety-yes. But now with my AT thinking, I can recognize it , notice it, as excitement for something that I am choosing to do. It cues me to ask myself where I notice ease in my system. I can ask myself to coordinate, so my head can be free, so that my body can follow, so that I can sing freely, so that I can communicate to the audience and invite them in. These are all steps in what AT teacher Kathy Madden calls “a studied rehearsed plan.” I can practice this thinking throughout my day away from singing and eventually it generalizes into everything I do, including my singing.  

 I now recognize that when I lie to myself by following a habit that isn’t true to my design, my breathing becomes shallow, my belly tightens and my voice squeaks. And not all raspberries have worms!

Why The Alexander Technique?

When people learn I use Alexander Technique principles in my singing and teaching, along with Feldenkreis, Pilates and Yoga, the conversation often goes like this. “Oh yeah, Alexander Technique. That’s that technique where you relax all of your muscles and end up with good posture, right? But I don’t believe in it for singing because you have to engage muscles to sing.” (For a more thorough description of The Alexander Technique, read this article I wrote. )

Let’s untangle that idea! First, we are all born to sing! Watch any child sing and that becomes clear! When I was about 3 years old, I remember standing next to my mother in church. Everyone was holding a hymnal and singing. I wanted to be part of that, but of course I couldn’t yet read. So I picked up the book and just sang whatever was on my mind at that moment. (I believe it had something to do with Sleeping Beauty and castles.)  No one corrected me or told me to stand a certain way.  Fast forward to last month. I was in Israel with a large group. We were in St. Anne’s Church by the Pool of Bethesda, where people come just to sing in the amazingly vibrant acoustic. Our group sang a hymn and then had time to explore. Something let go in me and I just sang-not a song-just an exhale of pitched sound. It just came out. I had a visceral memory of the freedom I had singing when I was a child. My voice soared. 

So what happened between childhood and my adult professional life? Like most of us, I spent 12 years sitting at desks that didn’t fit my body, I was told to stand up “straight” when I had a 4 inch growth spurt and to hold in my stomach to live up to societal expectations of the female body. My father told me to stop singing when he got home. My choir teachers would tell us things like, “Sing from your diaphragm, open your mouth widely and stand up straight!” What did those things even mean? (watch for future posts where I translate some of these messages) As a result, I developed excess tension that instead of enabling a freer sound, constricted it. Then in music school, I developed all the bel canto skills prescribed to me. I sounded great! My career progressed. I was and am a perennial student of vocal pedagogy, so I thought I had everything I needed. 

I also learned to constantly compare myself to others-my thinking had become as tense as my body, but I didn’t know it. was the cause of the tension. When I experienced vocal tension, I would do all the things I was trained to do to “fix” it. But it didn’t always work.

So how does Alexander Technique come in? AT teacher Cathy Madden describes AT as “bio-psycho-social” learning, because we humans are bio-psycho-physically whole. We cannot separate our thinking from our use. Over years we develop habits that we believe come from truth. We develop an inaccurate body map. AT helps us discover the movement patterns that are designed to help us move and sing and inhibit the ones that we do not need. AT teaches us to cooperate with the design of our true selves. Alexander himself, for example, discovered he was gripping the floor with his feet, gasping each breath and pulling his head back and down leading to his hoarseness.

So does Alexander technique help us develop good posture? Yes, with posture redefined as a place of ease, not of holding. Does AT teach you to relax all of your muscles? No. It helps us to discover the most efficient use of our selves so that unnecessary tension lets go. Do we have to engage muscles when we sing? Of course!! But only the ones we are beautifully and perfectly designed to use.

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